Personal writing

Impostor syndrome as spiritual dilemma

Probably as many as 70% of graduate students suffer from impostor syndrome, and I am one. According to a cursory internet search, impostor syndrome is a “psychological pattern in which an individual doubts their accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a ‘fraud.’” For me, this fear centers almost entirely around… Continue reading Impostor syndrome as spiritual dilemma

Personal writing

A tale of two dreams

This past Thanksgiving, I had the most intriguing dream of my life. In the first part of the dream, I was explicitly seeking to find “God” by flying to the north pole. I was being pursued by two suited men, who also flew, so this part of the dream was much like “The Matrix”—I would… Continue reading A tale of two dreams

Personal writing

Leadership as illusion

It used to feel imperative to me that I be a leader. I used to think there were people in life that were followers, and people that were leaders, and that it was better to be the latter than the former. Mostly, I think this vision was bound up in notions of masculinity for me.… Continue reading Leadership as illusion

Personal writing

Politics, breakdown, and the Age of Aquarius

In light of recent events, I wanted to write a short post on where I think politics in the U.S. is heading, and why. As will become clear, some of my views derive from unorthodox sources. People have wondered why there seems to be a decreasing interest in politics, whether represented by 2014’s stunningly low… Continue reading Politics, breakdown, and the Age of Aquarius

Pedagogy, Personal writing

Three practices to increase listening capacity

It was my sophomore year of college, and a friend had just found me in the library and told me he had something private to tell me. He asked me to follow him to a secluded place that he might share in private, and I followed him out of the library, across the lawns that… Continue reading Three practices to increase listening capacity

Personal writing

Here, but not: research, sexuality, and objectivity

TW: This essay contains discussion of ambiguous sexual experiences. If this is a source of discomfort for you, please consider whether you would like to read on. My early sexual experiences were colored by ambiguity and discomfort. With one woman in particular, a roommate, there was never full consent about what would happen between us… Continue reading Here, but not: research, sexuality, and objectivity

Personal writing

What it means to bow to the Buddha

A few years ago while reading a foundational text on Buddhism I had the first of two spiritual experiences with respect to the tradition: every new insight I read, it seemed like I was remembering rather than discovering. That is, it felt like I had been a Buddhist before. I asked a psychic about this… Continue reading What it means to bow to the Buddha